Face Making

Le blog de l’artiste peintre franco-américaine Gwenn Seemel. Les articles sont en anglais et en français, et souvent ils sont bilingues.

Not everybody loves you. / Ce n’est pas tout le monde qui va vous apprécier.

2016 . 03 . 07 - Comments / Commentaires (4)

And it’s okay.

Et c’est normal.


I struggle with this stuff, because I want to be a good person. I want to be sensitive to other people’s needs and to help them be who they want to be in whatever way I can, all without allowing myself to be damaged in the process.

It’s a tall order and the work of a lifetime, but I’m already good at parts of it. I never pretend to be someone I’m not just to make a sale and I recognize when people are trying to make their problem my problem some of the time. I want to get better at establishing healthy boundaries. My goal is to not take things personally, while still being able to hear valuable feedback about how my behavior impacts others.


Je fais beaucoup d’effort sur ce sujet, parce que je veux être sensible aux besoins des autres et les aider à devenir la personne qu’ils veulent être, tout sans nuire à mon développement.

C’est un énorme défi et le travail de toute une vie, mais j’arrive déjà à gérer certains aspects. Je ne fais jamais semblant d’être quelqu’un d’autre pour vendre mon art et je reconnais quand on essaie de créer un problème pour moi parfois. Je veux apprendre à établir des limites saines et à le faire plus facilement. Mon but est de ne pas me sentir personnellement attaqueé par une critique et, en même temps, de l’écouter et de m’améliorer.


work in progress

work in progress / une œuvre pas encore achevée

This vlog talks about recognizing the two kinds of criticism, which can really help you to not taking things personally.

Ce vidéoblog explique les deux sortes de critiques. Reconnaître la différence entre les deux peut vraiment vous aider à écouter ce qu’on vous dit.


RELATED ARTICLES:
- How to love your art (and yourself)
- Being a friendly artist / Être un artiste sociable
- The real danger in not standing up for yourself


UN PEU SUR LE MÊME SUJET:
- Craving credit / Avoir besoin de reconnaissance
- How to define your boundaries / Comment définir vos limites
- Dealing with rejection / Faire face au refus


CATÉGORIES: - English - Français - Business of art - Video -


Gwenn Seemel sur Liberapay     Gwenn Seemel sur Patreon

(4) Comments / Commentaires: Not everybody loves you. / Ce n’est pas tout le monde qui va vous apprécier.

-- Libby Fife -- 2016 . 03 . 07 --

Gwenn,

I particularly like the part where the person just might be a poo poo head! Isn’t that the truth?

It’s always tough to know what has gotten into someone and even harder to suss out if there is something in that person’s behavior/comments that you can be of benefit to you. Your logic trail is sound and a good litmus test. And I like that last thought in the second paragraph above. Personal insight is always the key.

Thanks for a good post,
Libby

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-- Gwenn -- 2016 . 03 . 07 --

@Libby: The personal insight part is really very important, and plenty of people seeking emotional stability fail to grapple with it. I’ll give them feedback (or watch others do so) and they’ll respond with: “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Sometimes when someone comes to us with a problem it is legitimately their issue and not ours, but sometimes it’s not.

Thanks for the comment, friend!

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-- Sheila -- 2016 . 03 . 07 --

Thanks for this wonderful reminder.

I am quite critical of myself as well and it is so easy to become wrapped up in the “What do THEY think of it/me?” instead of just MAKING the art that is asking to be made.
Sometimes, people are just trapped in their own junk and that falls on Our heads as artists.
BUT, Even if the opinions of others really are about Me or My work…I can’t let them stop me from making art. Because if I am NOT making art, I stop being Me.

Your post is a wise reminder to balance the opinions of others with our own self-knowledge as we accept that we really cannot control what “they” think and just move forward.
Keep making your beautiful art. grin

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-- Gwenn -- 2016 . 03 . 07 --

@Sheila: We all walk such a tightrope in order to be ourselves, don’t we? Listening to others but also to ourselves. It’s hard work, this being human! smile Thanks for your comment!

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