Face Making

Artist Gwenn Seemel’s bilingual blog about art, portraiture, free culture, and feminism.

From childless to childfree / De sans enfant à childfree

2016 . 09 . 05 - Comments / Commentaires (7)

How I found my own kind of peace.

Comment j’ai trouvé une certaine tranquilité.


For more about endometriosis and about why you should know more about it, check out this article. This video talks more about the difficulties that come with the choice to be childfree.


Pour en savoir plus sur l’endométriose et pourquoi il est important de comprendre cette maladie, regardez cette vidéo. Ce vidéoblog explique les difficultés qui viennent avec le choix de ne pas avoir d’enfants.



dollhouse

All the toys and things my parents saved have found new homes now.

Toutes les affaires que mes parents avaient gardé pour moi ont trouvé des enfants qui leurs apprécient.



daisy

It makes me happy to think of kids enjoying them again.

Ça me fait beaucoup plaisir de penser à eux.


RELATED ARTICLES:
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UN PEU SUR LE MÊME SUJET:
- How to define your boundaries / Comment définir vos limites
- Sex and procreation / Les relations sexuelles et la procréation
- Making a choice / Faire le choix


CATEGORIES: - English - Français - TOP POSTS - Endometriosis - Feminism - Philosophy - Photography - Video -


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(7) Comments / Commentaires: From childless to childfree / De sans enfant à childfree

-- Cathy Hasty -- 2016 . 09 . 05 --

What a wonderful reflection.  So many people can benefit from this open and searching and honest response.  How do I post it on my Facebook page so I can get it out in the world.  Child free is a perfect frame.  And I adore that wee house.  Keep it for yourself!

Till I was 37 I was not going to have children.  I remember all the push back, though that is NOT what swayed me.  I believe I could have been happy child free and I will be less child full in a few years.  People have lots of baggage around childbearing and around the role of women in the world and around children in general.  Your decision is your decision.  Your decision to bring it to the world will help others to reflect on their decision, and perhaps to bless a decision that is not as often supported in our culture.

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-- Gwenn -- 2016 . 09 . 05 --

If you just want to post the video, you can grab this URL: https://vimeo.com/181418064 smile

I want to ask what did change your mind in the end. Is it okay if I ask? You know how to get me privately if it’s not an answer you want to make public. Thank you for all your insight and encouragement!

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-- Cathy Hasty -- 2016 . 09 . 05 --

I was happy being involved with my other passions and I did not like the societal demand.  I was clear from adolescence that I did not necessarily want children.  I was a nurse in a Peds ICU and they seemed quite fragile and a great deal of work.  My husband wanted children.  I said no, and we almost separated.  But eventually he gave up on the idea and did some of his work in therapy.  In the space offers by his decision I did my own therapy and came to realize I could explore the option.  I had a miscarriage which was painful and, for awhile wondered if I would be able to concieve.  I was able to have two fairly easy pregnancies late in life, delivering one daughter when I was 38 and another when I was 42.  Now people sometimes think they are my grandchildren! 

There is no one way to make this crazy life work.  I have been with parents who have had all their children to die and ones whose children have no contact with them after a certain age.  There are many forms of being child free.  Thanks for taking up this important issue.  I posted the video on my Facebook page.

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-- Gwenn -- 2016 . 09 . 05 --

That’s a very sweet story of bravery and release. Thank you for sharing it, friend!

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-- Laura -- 2016 . 09 . 06 --

Wonderfully said Gwen! Beautiful video.

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-- Darkis -- 2016 . 09 . 06 --

I had that same exact ballerina jewelry box when I was a teen! Thank u for sharing such a hard subject. I’m in somewhat on a similar position. I did everything right, by the book in regards to my life; didn’t get prego as a teen, got an education, got a “career”... In life u can plan all u want, but things sometimes just don’t turn out as u expect them. I’m now 36 & after about 3 yrs trying, haven’t been able to conceive. However, I did decide to have at least one child by any means. I think society does have these ridiculous misconceptions though that just because ur a woman, that u “have” to have a child. I do not believe so.

It’s funny when people ask me how old I am, then proceed to ask me if I have kids, & when I tell them I don’t have any yet. They ask “well, what are u waiting for?”

My career & education (which is not in art) ended up not opening as many doors as I expected, maybe my expectations were too high…funny enough though…my art career(my passion & what I love) which I thought could never happen is starting to blossom.

Life is so weird it takes u through so many twists & turns that all u can do really is enjoy the ride.

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-- Gwenn -- 2016 . 09 . 07 --

Thank you, Laura! And Darkis, that’s so funny that we had the same box. I don’t know about you, but I thought mine was pretty special. Sometimes it served as a sort of traveling home for my little dolls, like an RV with a pull out bed (the drawer). smile

It’s true that life keeps us on our toes. Life and each other—the “what are you waiting for?” comment makes my stomach turn. Humans are such funny little creatures. Hugs to you both, Laura and Darkis!

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