Blog / 2022 / Singing Rainbows for a Puffin Foundation Grant

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT

Sometimes, I feel like the grey coyote in this painting: a black hole at my center, slurping down all the rainbows into the bottomless pit of my need. Other times, I’m the other coyotes—the brown one and those who are singing from outside the composition as well—being sucked dry by a world that needs too much from me.

But there are times, too, when I’m neither, when I sing rainbows with you all and no one’s rainbow is hijacked by anyone’s black hole, when all our rainbows fill the sky and make our world wonderful. It’s those moments of exquisite balance, when I feel steady in myself and able to give to others, that I want to learn to savor.

Because I notice when I feel like a black hole as well as when I feel sucked dry, but the harmony of steadiness seems to slip by undetected, only really noticeable when it’s gone.

Never again, I say! I want this image to act as a reminder to me. Every time I see it I want to think of this moment of balance, right now. I was already feeling steadier than I have in years, buoyed by my move to Lambertville, a town that suits me so much more than the conservative vacation village I lived in for the last six years. And then, the Puffin Foundation awarded me a grant for Everything’s Fine, the series about mental health that I started last fall during a crisis, the series that these coyotes are a part of.

The Puffin Foundation has the best goal of any arts organization I know of—the best, I say, because it’s my goal too. They aim to nurture change and make sure every person knows that they can make change happen. They don’t have their heads in the sand. They acknowledge that things are hard these days, but they also see all the creativity and problem-solving that artists bring to the world, and that makes them ultimately hopeful. I’m so grateful for their support for this project!

This video is made with love and microdonations from my community!